Unwittingly, my September blog included three links which I think are interesting. So, I figured that was just about enough to include and I will repeat. Feel free to email me ([email protected]) or fill in the contact form and tell me if it is the right amount to read on the topic of ‘Kindness Matters’. I fully intend to make it readable but not superficial (because I personally get frustrated if I get to the end of a blog and I don’t feel there was anything thought provoking in it), and relevant to teachers and parents. Let me know!

• It’s getting cold

My biggest childhood, autumnal memory isn’t fireworks or Halloween but is the smell of the air in October in the 80s probably when I was about six. I still remember the lyric ‘Jet planes meeting in the air to be refilled’ from the top ten hits of 1980s assembly songs. (The song is called Autumn Days if you want to search for it!) I am aware that the darker evenings and colder days signalling the transition towards winter are a bit Marmitey for many. Either you love the crisp autumnal days, the light changing as well as the colours of the leaves, or you mourn the loss of the warmth and longer evenings. I’m firmly in the latter group. I regularly have to close the back door when my family leave it open because I am freezing and no one else is feeling it yet. (I think the stock phrase is ‘Were you born in a barn?’)

As a teacher, I would get to October and November and think, heck how did it get so dark this evening? The Autumn term is relentless and the diary is full. Very aptly it was World Teachers’ Day last week (5^th Oct) so thank you to educators, teachers, support assistants who demonstrate warmth and kindness every day. Perhaps, we will never quite understand how this contributes to the success of the individuals we care for and teach. Kindness matters.

• Look for the lights

The thing that spurs me on at this time of year, however, is light. Twinkly lights, candles or fake candles, fires… they all work for me. This is why I think that World Mental Health Day being on 10^th October is perfect in the Northern Hemisphere. Our seasons remind us that it can feel limiting, shadowy and different when there is, metaphorically, less light in our lives. We experience these times (albeit in different magnitudes) because we are all human. A friend of mine died about 15 years ago and at her funeral, her partner retold a story by John O’Donoghue about looking for a key in the shadows of a doorway. I can’t remember it exactly, but I think the premise was that the shaft of light created by the keyhole (or perhaps the window) only illuminated a small area on the ground. The owner of the key had to reach into the dark places to find it. This has always struck a chord with me.

I am aware that I don’t know the full depth of difficulties that people are experiencing at any given moment in their lives. Sometimes I will see these moments. Other times I won’t be able to recognise the internal situation, the grasping around for the key – it’s the same for myself. Sometimes it takes me a while to stop and realise I have reached a really difficult place. And I am always grateful for those in my life who hold the twinkly lights for me, who wait for me and share space with me when it is hard and there aren’t any easy platitudes.

Every year, I am looking for those lights, looking for the moments when I can be present and holding in my thoughts those for whom good mental health is a continuing challenge and not a given. Who is there holding out the lights? Well, apart from family and friends and avoiding the dastardly social media, there are a few organisations who are doing fantastic work day in, day out. Action for Happiness produce monthly themed calendars with very tiny ideas that are lovely and positive. The organisation Anna Freud (a highly regarded mental health charity for children and families) is a brilliant place to find helpful and informative resources. There is a link below to some resources that might be helpful.

• Kindness matters for Working Memory

Over the last few weeks, I have been reading a few research articles about Working Memory and younger children because it has been relevant to some freelance work. Working Memory is the ability to focus on the things you need, to do something/to do a task and it is really important for learning. One of the articles I read (de Wilde A, Koot HM, van Lier PA, 2016) found links between Working Memory and prosocial skills. Working Memory can be encouraged when relationships between early years educators and young children (in the paper it says early elementary school children) are ‘prosocial’. Prosocial behaviours are behaviours that are helpful, positive about friendships and accepting of their peers.

‘Lower working memory scores were related to increases in teacher-child conflict and decreases in teacher-child warmth one school-year later, in addition to decreases in likeability by peers within the same school-year. Conversely, teacher-child conflict was negatively associated with the development of working memory across the studied period.’

(de Wilde A, Koot HM, van Lier PA, 2016)

So once again, kindness matters. Kindness matters for learning.

TLDR:

• It’s moving from autumn towards winter – the nights are getting darker.
• Key dates are World Teachers’ Day (5^th Oct) and World Mental Health Day (10^th Oct).
• Working Memory is linked to prosocial behaviour.
• Kindness matters.

Links:

de Wilde A, Koot HM, van Lier PA. Developmental Links Between Children’s Working Memory and their Social Relations with Teachers and Peers in the Early School Years. J Abnorm Child Psychol. 2016 Jan;44(1):19-30. doi: 10.1007/s10802-015-0053-4. PMID: 26219261; PMCID: PMC4715126. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4715126/

This link is to our Emotions Poster Pack (this is the A2 version) which was created to help children understand their feelings: https://bosky-publishing.myshopify.com/products/emotions-poster-pack-a2

The Anna Freud Centre have published ‘You’re never too young to talk mental health: Tips for talking for parents and carers’ and a great animation about anxiety. https://www.annafreud.org/schools-and-colleges/resources/advice-for-parents-and-carers-talking-mental-health-with-young-people-at-primary-school/

Other WM links:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4310560/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23402038/#:~:text=This%20instrument%20presents%20prosocial%20behavior,public%2C%20anonymous%2C%20and%20dire.